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Think Small:
Who's Mentoring Whom?

Lessons Learned from my Little Sister

by Jennifer J. Anthony

Five years ago, I signed up to be a mentor for Big Brothers Big Sisters. As a Big Sister, I agreed to spend time with my eleven-year-old Little Sister once a week for at least a year. It was a big commitment, and I had some concerns. Would we have things in common? Would we get along? Would I be a good mentor?

I never imagined how much my Little Sister would end up mentoring me.

Kelly and I met for the first time just before her twelfth birthday. She was a lot like me when I was her age: a little shy at first, but very chatty once she felt comfortable. We talked. We watched a movie. And we made a list of all the activities we wanted to do together, including shopping, watching movies, and making arts and crafts.

Kelly spent a lot of time indoors, so one thing I vowed to do as a mentor was to encourage her to try some new outdoor activities. First stop: swimming pool. She had been to a pool before, but needed to build her confidence and conquer the deep end. Within a year, she was zipping across the pool fearlessly.

Kelly driving at the range

The outdoor activities haven’t stopped there. I wanted to introduce Kelly to some of my other favorite sports. We have played tennis, shot hoops at the park, bowled, paddled boats on a lake, and camped and hiked in Big Basin. Once, we even braved a hilly path on our Razor scooters, laughing at the astonished looks on people’s faces as they saw a 35-year-old and a teenager zipping by them.

I had a list of other sports I hadn’t yet tried, unsure of how well I would do at them. One of these activities was a driving range near my home. I didn’t know the first thing about golf! But Kelly was always willing to try something new, so off we went. Loaner irons and bucket of balls in hand, we took our place at the bay between the regulars who had brought their own clubs. On either side of us, expert golfers perfected their swings and seemed to be smacking the balls into the next city. Meanwhile, neither of us had the first clue what we were doing: we hit the putting green almost as much as the ball and our technique was non-existent. Yet we had so much fun together that we forgot about being self-conscious. We just had fun.

Race car driving at Malibu Grand Prix was another activity I had never done. Kelly’s sixteenth birthday provided the perfect
excuse. We hopped into a car together, buckled up, and listened, with bulging eyes, as the instructor told us what we should do in case the car flipped over. And we sped off. Even as we zipped around the racetrack screaming, laughing, and trying our best to beat other drivers’ records, we were already planning a return visit.

	Kelly and Jennifer start their engines!

Five years ago, I agreed to be a Big Sister. Even though I worried if I would do a good job, I soon found out how easy and rewarding mentoring can be. But the biggest surprise of all was that Kelly has also mentored me. She has reminded me how much adults can learn from teens. She has given me the opportunity to do all the fun activities I first tried as a kid. And she has shown me that sometimes trying new activities isn’t about being perfect – it’s just about having fun together.

Want to learn more about mentorship through Big Brothers Big Sisters? Check it out: http://www.bbbs.org

Jennifer J. Anthony is a native Californian who works at a not-for-profit education policy research institution to support her travel habit. She travels near and far in search of fun and funny stories, sometimes dragging her sixteen-year-old Big Brothers Big Sisters mentee along with her. Recent sporting adventures include skydiving (see the photo at left), trapeze school in San Francisco, ziplining in Costa Rica, and trekking through rice paddies in Vietnam. She has an MFA in writing for children and a MA in psychology. More about her can be found on her website: www.jenniferanthony.net.