Coach Advice
Team Problem: Understanding “Big Stuff”
by Lisa
Situation:
Some athletes think they’re Big Stuff—rule the court—when actually you can tell they’re desperate for attention. The problem becomes a big deal when that person is on your team. Their behavior can pull players in different directions and, plain and simple, team harmony does not exist.
Suggestions:
1st Try This: Talk to another player—not to blame or point the finger at “Big Stuff,” but to be constructive. Maybe someone else knows what’s really going on behind the dominating behavior. While personal conversations need to be respected, another teammate can at least confirm if they know that “Big Stuff” is having problems. That can help create some empathy so you’re not angry or defensive.
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 Usually, a coach will have a mature perspective that might calm any worries... 
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2nd Try This: See if you and another teammate can talk to the coach. Again, not to rat on “Big Stuff” for causing problems, but to express that the team is not working closely together and you’d like the coach’s advice. Usually, a coach will have a mature perspective that might calm any worries on your part—or they will offer to talk to “Big Stuff” in a supportive manner. Your name will not get mentioned, I’m sure, if you make that request.
3rd Try This: Be curious. See if there’s any way you can see “Big Stuff” in another light/environment. Often, when kids have to show off, it’s because they’re trying to prove something to themselves. And often it’s because they don’t like themselves. Whether they struggle in school or they’re criticized by a bully, an older sibling or an adult.
Playing sports can be an outlet for many kids, but a source of pain and worry for others. In America today, many people see the possibility of college scholarships or making the pros. On TV it seems glamorous with all the attention, sponsors, and high salaries. That’s too much pressure! If you really like being on a team, it’s probably because of the exciting energy when a team connects, gels, and everything feels amazing. Keep that in mind—your love of Team Energy. Because when you are a positive person on the team, that’s always the start of a team coming together.
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